Conversation Sunday, Sep 27 2009

                So it’s a little hard to write about this event, almost as if it’s an open wound, to new and sore to start touching it, but I feel some words are in order. One night last week an old friend from high school messaged me and was saying how a mutual friend of ours was claimed by suicide very recently.

                He described how our friend had separated with his girlfriend and apparently found the emotions too much to bear. Obviously I was very distraught over this news, since I am in this business of relationships, and supposed to prevent these kinds of things, and as I starting to express my concerns about how “I wish I could have spoke to him before…” and “I wish I could have told him…”, my friend silenced me, unknowingly, with a phrase that is unfortunately too true in our society…my last statement was “I wish I would have known..” my friend’s disclaimer….”I don’t think anyone knew…”

                I can’t say for sure if there was any validity to that statement in this certain situation, but I can certainly believe it. How often do we hear or experience these tragedies in our life, and say “I seen it coming…” if that where the case, wouldn’t you be more preventative? If you saw a friend drowning, wouldn’t you at least try your best to save them?

                I’m not sure there is much more to say, you don’t always know, but you can always ask. Real, authentic, meaningful conversation can be a lifeline. Don’t be afraid to ask, don’t put down the real issues, people are in our lives for good reasons, you can be their hope.

                As for my friend’s family, his girlfriend, and her family…our prayers go out to them tonight…

-To Bind Up the Broken Hearted
-Josh

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The Loudest Thing Monday, Sep 7 2009

     So I haven’t written in a few months now. I’m not sure how I want to release this load on my shoulders onto this page. I’ve been going through the craziest, hurtful, adventurous, busiest, most meaningful, most passionate, ride of my life the past few months. There are only 168 hours in a week, 70 plus of them go to my work at the group home, another 40 go to the college classes and homework, about another 15 or so go into making calls, connections, and building relationships with people from Awestruck, 10 or so goes into His Scars To Our Scars, and if I have any left I use it to sleep, or spend time with my family, and friends.

     My days run together, and I don’t really know how much longer I can physically do this, maybe there are some things I just need to put on the back burner, maybe I just need a new job with less hours?

     Regardless, the most important thing I’ve worked on over all this time is relationships. Relationships I’ve made that are new or ones I have strengthened, or even those that have decided to leave my life, even if temporarily.  

     I believe people are important, I believe everyone has something to say, I believe the loudest and most kind thing you can do for someone is to take time away from your life to enter theirs, whether it’s to share in their memories, or help carry their burdens. I feel like that’s what gives life meaning,  that fact that someone should be able to spend time with you and leave with a hope or positive emotion that they didn’t have when they came to you.

     Everything seems to change in life, except for one thing, and that one thing we can hang our hopes on…the fact that God is never changing, since the beginning of time, and neither are His commandments, to love Him and others as much as we do ourselves. I don’t care how busy my life gets; it will all take a back burner when it comes to valuing people.

     If you read this I want you to know, that even if I do or don’t know you, that you are loved, that your story is important, that if you’re struggling, you will make it through this, that you matter, that you are respected, accepted, and approved of.

     Talk is important; tell that person what they need to hear. I think I’m done, for now, so remember, be safe, be real.

-Josh
To bind up the broken hearted.

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Day 3….I am Significant Saturday, Jul 18 2009

Day 3…..I am significant

“God…..please remind me that I am a significant part of your plan….that my life has a purpose….prepare me to do great things for you…”

As most of you know I operate a nonprofit organization that helps people who struggle with depression, loneliness, and thoughts of suicide. I want it to be big, really big, really really big, you get my point. Success is a great thing, if achieved with the right mindset. There are many reasons that people want their endeavors to succeed, but the most logical one for me is that, if mine gets bigger, it means it has helped more people, the more people that are helped the more glory I can bring to God’s name.

I spend a lot of time studying and reflecting on the people who have organizations, like mine, who have made a huge impact on our society. People like the guy from TOMS shoes, Jamie from TO Write Love On Her Arms, all the people from Heart Support, the list goes on. I also find myself surrounded by local heroes as well sharing of where they have been and lives they have changed.

I have already made it a prime decision to serve Christ, and use my life to make a difference for Him. But I often get caught up, comparing myself and my organization to all these others. I have so much to learn, so many relationships to build, so many lives to become a part of, so much funding and resources to obtain. I often start to feel a little insignificant, like I am such a small part in this huge design of a world, like I will never reach this goal of “success” for Christ. I can relate deeply to a sentence Jim Cymbala writes in his book Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, “…I despaired at the thought that my life would pass me by without God doing something great in it….” (I tear up every time I read this sentence.)

Maybe this was more of a ramble instead of a journal entry, but I think it serves a few purposes. One is that a lot of times we hear of people’s lives that are as if they are complete, and they bring hope that we can overcome the struggles we may be going through. I just want to share that, like most of us, I am still writing the story to my life, I don’t really know where it is going; I don’t know how the struggles that I am facing are going to turn out. I do know that whatever happens, it will work out according to God’s plan, and that is just fine with me.

Secondly, to find something of great desire, you have to look in the right places. I think everyone at some point and time wonders what their life will amount to, and we get caught up trying to meet the demands of society, trusting that we will accomplish this goal of significance. However, you must know that the true fulfillment of significance comes from God. We are created by Christ, but for some reason we thing we can fill our voids with what we create, we need to realize that sometimes we can only be instilled with significance and not obtain it. Let the Creator, create it in you.

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Day 2….Time to Appreciate Saturday, Jul 18 2009

Day 2….Time to Appreciate

“My Christ….please instill in me the memory to always take the time to appreciate all your gifts and blessings.”

I walked outside early in the morning today, and it was AWESOME, a small breeze, bright sunlight, and a cool 70 to mid 60s.  As I started to go on my way, to wherever I was going, the regular everyday troubles decided to require all my attention as usual. I had my windows in the car down and the cool breeze in my face reminded me of what a beautiful day it was. I thought, in July this is rare, a day as cool as today, and as many of you know I dislike hot weather so I thought to myself “today, is definitely a gift from God, I should really enjoy it instead of worrying about things that I cannot control.”

A gift from God should not go un-noticed or unappreciated. Men what if when you presented your girl with her engagement ring she looked at it for a second and said “that’s so pretty!” Then she just pushed it aside and started worrying about other stuff? Or ladies, what if you put a lot of effort into finding that perfect gift for your man for his birthday, but when you gave it to him he was just like “hey, thanks its cool.” Then just stuffed it back in the box and didn’t think about it again?

I wonder if God feels the same disappointment that we would, when we just wonder at His gift’s to us for only a bit, and go on about our day like we never received anything? Appreciation is a looked over virtue…challenge yourself to find it.

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Day one…love Monday, Jul 13 2009

So I’d like to ask a favor of you, yeah you who are reading this right now. Over the next 7 days I want to keep a journal of some of the prayers I pray each day, not the whole prayer, just an insert. And I want to reflect on how they are being fulfilled.

The favor I’m asking of you is that you do this with me. Christ tells us in scripture to “be still and know that I am God.” What better way than to actually take the time and realize how He is answering your prayers. Also, before you say you don’t have time, ask yourself “if I don’t have time to realize how my prayers are being answered, can I be upset when I don’t think they’re being heard, or answered?”

So here we go Day 1

Love others…

“God please fill me with the love that you have for people, let me see your people through your eyes, let me see them with my heart and not my eyes……”

Lately I feel like I’ve been surrounded by a lot of prejudice, racism, bias, etc. With the media, a select few of my peers and family, co-workers, you know a whole realm of influences that we all have. I hope I never have a feeling, or conjure an emotion, or make a decision based on someone’s color, political party, gender, the list goes on and on.

As I review the past few weeks I realize that the last sermon that moved me to tears was delivered by a South African refugee, the nice man at the bank who opened the door for me was Hispanic, the bible school I helped out with this past week consisted of multiple backgrounds. I could think of 20 more, but you get the point.

I believe that God answered that prayer for me, because all I can feel when I see and meet the people I am describing in this writing is my heart beating harder, my smile getting bigger, and can only think these are God’s people, these are my people.

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What Twitter Taught Me Today Thursday, Jun 4 2009

Everyone who does not use Twitter always asks me, “what is it good for?” I tell them you get to know your friends.  So I’d like to take a little time to have some fun, and tell what I learned about my friends that I follow.

1. Caitlin Allen had her 18th birthday today, her dad got her an awesome present so he is the bomb, and she is in Cary NC.

2. Josh Parrish took his car to the shop to get it worked on, he turned gangsta and spent the day pimping a Cadillac.

3. Evan Blackerby also is a Gangsta from Comptan, and he got a new storm door, installed by Jimmy Duck.

4. Ariel Cook got a hair cut, went to work, is taking a vacation, and stuck in traffic with a puking puppy.

5. Mr. Thompson of Seacoast Church likes positive e-mails, and feels like a bug hitting a windshield.

6. And finally Ben Fowlkes is a hard worker, had craft time with his 3 yr old, and has arm flab.

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formula God Tuesday, May 5 2009

There is something wrong with human society. And I don’t mean this in a condemning way like “this world is messed up”.  What I mean is more like looking a “find the missing object picture” and saying “I can’t quiet put my figure on it but something is just not right here”.

People are searching for something that is missing inside them, like an identity of some short. Something they can be that is acceptable to themselves and to society.  We do funny things to find our identity.  We memorize things to make us seem smart, we wear trendy clothing to make us seem cool, we copy someone else who seems to have made their mark with mankind.

I think it is safe to say the thing people are really searching for is value. However, if we are always trying to obtain value from a society that is always searching for it as well, is it really authentic, genuine, or intimate?

I think the answer is obvious, but everyone has an opinion, and that’s all I really have to offer as well. What I can tell you is where you can obtain true value. And that is through God.

Let me come back to this and follow me to another observation.

Unfortunately this link between a relationship with Christ and value has been severed by impostors. What I mean by this are people who say they’re Christian but misrepresent God. You know who I’m talking about, the televangelists who ask for your money in exchange for financial blessing, or the seminary professor giving you a 3 step plan to get to Heaven. I could go on but I think you get the point.

People like this have made the God of the Bible a formula God. To a person who may not know God, this is bad, because he/she may think of God as a small God. I think it is much more than this, scripture says that God is bigger than we can imagine, and to understand Him we must get to know Him.

Isn’t that what we do when we turn a stranger into a friend, or when we get a girlfriend or boyfriend. We get to know them. Perhaps God is not a formula God, but a relational God, and to practice Christianity we do not follow formulas, but maybe it’s more like falling in love, and building a relationship.

Here is my point, since the fall of man (when man first sinned against God), there seemed to be this broken heartedness within God. And He was determined, and still is today, to bind up this separation between mankind and Himself. And as we all know, this meant sending His only Son to die for us. It is moving to think of how God will not let go of his creation. Perhaps he really values us.

I know there is a large separation in thought within this writing, but understand the point I’m making is that in order to obtain true value, we must realize that we are valued.

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So I have this Friend Monday, Mar 23 2009

So I have this friend, we will call him Nameless, that is a pretty good guy. On the outside he seems to have it all together, lives a stable lifestyle, and has great morals that line up with God’s standards. However, Nameless and I have been having this conversation about an observation he noticed about himself.

You see he has this ring, which was a gift to him, which has Jesus on the cross molded onto the side of it. He noticed that every time he is thinking thoughts that he shouldn’t or doing things that he knows are shameful to God, he takes the ring off and leaves it on the table, or in his pocket. He doesn’t do it on purpose it’s kind of an unconscious action, but he can always think back and remember of when he took it off.

After he told me about this, it started a discussion about how, like him, most people think Christ is just an accessory. We go about our life with our Jesus fish, our dove stickers, and our Cross tattoos to show people that we are Christians. But a lot of the time we live as if God isn’t looking, or we just put him aside, and when the time comes we put him back in our hearts just as we need him, in time of crisis or to go to church. We both felt convicted and re-evaluated how much time we were living for ourselves and how much time we needed to give to Christ.

Psalm 139 gives us a picture of how God is always watching us, maybe it’s time we start living like it, especially when He is the ONLY one watching.

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I’d like to “check out” memory 172 please Tuesday, Mar 3 2009

I’ve accidentally taken the day off for the past two days. I get up every morning with the intension of always moving forward and getting stuff done. But I just got caught up in hanging lose and being sporadic.

Yesterday (Monday), I took off to my cousins just to spend a few hours goofing off. But after the excitement of sliding, jumping and mud bogging on some pretty expensive four wheelers, a few hours became all day. We then decided Sir Pizza was appropriate for lunch and then I decided the best way to burn off the calories was to smash my sister and cousin in a snowball fight.

When the day was over I was a happy I haven’t been in a long time, I was a kid again. I revisited that library of memories that made me so happy years ago. Back then things were so simple, the only job I had was to have fun.

I look at the journey I, and so many others have taken. Many things people have been through and issues that are still being dealt with. However, the thing I notice the most is that people are having trouble moving forward because of issues in the past, bad memories, and ugly pictures. But I’ve realized a truth that we can try to work on to help that person, and myself, to move along.

Earlier I made a comment about a “library of memories”. If you think about a library, physically I mean, there are really lots of memories and history recorded there, a lot of good, and a lot of bad. However, when we go to the library we only go to check out what we want or need. Inspiration, motivation, stories to relate to, personal experiences, there all there.

Our past is just like a library, thoughts, stories, memories, experiences, but there are memories we “check out” that keep us from being real, and moving on. In essence there is way we can look at this to overcome these problems.

Instead of letting of past become a weapon, turn it into a library. Only check out thoughts that you need, that are useful. Good emotions, informational experiences, relational stories. You can use your past to help yourself and others. Just trash all the others because their not doing you or anyone else any good.

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Compromise my Testimony Wednesday, Feb 18 2009

I must admit most of the writings I do are hopeful, and I guess could be viewed as one of those “ah-ha” moments for some. However I would like to take a minute to be a little angry this time. I’m all about relating to people, so this one is for you, the wronged and unjustified.

I have been dealing with some relationship issues with a few past friends for a while. Although I haven’t had contact with these certain people I still see them from time to time. However, when I start to make my way in their direction, even if I’m not going to talk to them, they always seem to go the other way. They don’t return phone calls, they don’t look at you in the face, and they avoid talking to you at all cost.

This is obviously frustrating, because as I said before, I haven’t had much, if any, contact with these people since high school, so what could I have possible done to them.  When I do talk to past friends they say people are like that because I am a minister now and they feel guilty around me or as if I’m juding them. Whatever the reason it’s still not enough to justify there actions.

Whatever it may be, the instance of Tuesday night almost broke the camels  back. I was walking out of the locker room of my gym and someone called my name. Looking up it was an old friend, and to my suprise he wanted to talk, but as I approached another guy I knew that was with him looked down, at the floor and tried to cover up his obscenity torwards me with a cough. I knew he thought I didn’t hear, and it would have given me great pleasure to get in his face and scream mean obscenities to him. They may also have been true, but then I though logically, maybe more biblically, I could put this fool in his place, but it would compromise my testimony. If I am a minister, then I am not going to ruin Gods commandments just becuase I want to justfy myself.

If I give in to his trap I’ll also affect my ability to be stirred by the holy spirit, because I’ll spend weeks trying to overcome the bitterness and malice I feel for this person. I will not let that barrier come into play. So I just smiled and walked away. Not all is left unjust though, as you can recall what Paul says in his letters to Timothy, in paraphrase, keep doing your good works that I have instructed of you when your enemies wrong you, and let God bring to them what they deserve.

As “bigger man” as all this sounds, and in my fight to fend off bitterness and malice, do I still find pleasure in knowing that God is eventually gonna bring it to this guy? You bet I do, all in due time my friend, all in due time….

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